Rain

It's raining outside my window. It's also dark and cold, and the feeble yellow street light does not add any warmth but rather emphasizes the desolation of a winter night.

I've been going through a tough period of my life, and I'm not feeling exactly rosy inside either. So the gloom inside and outside reminds me of a text from Heinrich Heine's Reisebilder that I studied in a German textbook many years ago: es regnete dann immer stärker, außer mir und in mir, daß mir fast die Tropfen aus den Augen herauskamen.

I always find it embarrassing that my mood heavily depends on the weather. When it's bright and sunny, no matter what my circumstances are, I am always happy. And vice versa. I have friends who enjoy walking in the rain, and I envy them so. I wish I could be nuts like that. I love warm and sunny beach towns and more than once thought about moving to Miami Beach in Florida or Carlsbad in California, but somehow I always ended up living in places where cold rains exist to drag me down.

Sometimes I wonder why the way I feel depends so much on the whims of nature. Is it possible for me to be happy on rainy days? There's a song about letting it snow as much as it will since the man is with his love and doesn't care about the weather. Maybe the warmth in one's heart can beat any kind of adverse atmospheric condition. Interesting prospect that I have to try, again.

The Squirrel

The Squirrel is one month short of four years old, my youngest nephew. He came to live with me two months ago, and has distinctly changed the whole household ever since.

The first morning he climbed on my bed and snuggled against me and we watched TV together.

The next morning while I was still in bed he opened my door, stood my guitar upright on the floor, haphazardly struck its strings and sang loudly in gibberish. The dreadful cacophony jerked me wide awake from my cozy slumber. I was mad then I burst out laughing.

He is a strong-willed kid, spoiled by his dad, and can be very agressive when things don't go his way. When that happens I am not sure if I like him very much.

Still, while he's sitting beside me playing a game on my computer or watching Coyote chasing Roadrunner on my TV, I feel a tender warmth for him and a mild regret for what has been missing from my life: a child of my own.

Fall Colors

I went hiking a few days ago. I had been impatiently waiting for the right weather to take my camera to the mountains to get some pictures of the fall colors.

Piedmont Park

I went to Piedmont Park in midtown Atlanta the other day. The fall colors were just beginning to show. A lot of tents were being erected for some kind of fair, so it was pretty messy around the lake. Still it felt nice to breathe in the fresh air in the middle of a large open space with skyscrapers in the background to emphasize the contrast.

A group of teenage students were running around a field under the exhortation of a teacher. The leading boys looked lean, fit and a bit smug. Lagging at the very end of the group was a girl who was somewhat chubby. She looked very tired and was panting heavily, but she didn't give up.

Fall Road

The roads are gorgeous near my home this time of the year.